I am tired. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. I am depressed AF. I miss being childless. I hate being a mother.
A lot of people fail to realize the hardships that come with becoming a mom. The new problems that arise when you carry a seed in your womb. The constant obstacles that you now have to face once the child(ren) is born. Parenthood is the most ghetto hood I have ever been a part of…but nonetheless here we are. We made the choice to bring life into this world and we must deal with our new responsibility.
But for those moms struggling out there… It is okay to NOT be okay. Just like there are times that you may hate your partner, there are times where you will hate your child. Yes, hate them and despise them. That does not make you any less of a parent. Kids are annoying ASF and do dumb shit. It’s life. Motherhood can get very overwhelming very quickly, next thing you know you’re in a downward spiral, crying in a closet. Let’s try to avoid that as much as possible, shall we?
I myself struggle with postpartum depression but after 3 freaking years, I am finally starting to come out of it. *slowly* I am starting to find myself again and you can too. All hope is not lost but you will need to take actionable steps to make your life better.
Where to go from here?
I have compiled a list of things for you to try to make it easier being a mom.
- Wake up early: waking before the kids do, gives you time to get at least an hour to yourself.
- Journal: I have started journaling in the morning when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I use a guided journal for me to set positive affirmations for the day and I write down what I am grateful for.
- PRAY: Prayer has become a mandatory activity in my life and has helped me a lot in dealing with my depression. I ask God for patience, strength, protection and to help me get through these rough days.
- Have a day to yourself: One day of every month, I now use to treat me and only me. I drop my son off at the babysitter and just do me. I get my massages, eat out and do what I need to do to make me a priority. Try it!
- Sleep: Get those 8 hours of sleep as much as you can. Lacking sleep made me cranky and moody all day. If you’re low on energy then your kids will always tire you out.
- Make healthy choices: I have started eating better and working out again! It feels good and you will feel even better once you start getting your sexy back! I feel more confident in myself and my mood has changed for the better
- Get a therapist ASAP: Please, for the love of God, get professional help. Who cares what anyone says, you need to look out for yourself. It is worth every second once you find someone you connect with. Therapy allows me to get stuff off my chest without being judged. My therapist helps me by giving unbiased opinions and showing me techniques to deal with my emotions.
- Give yourself credit: You are only human. You do what you can. Don’t compare your parenting or life to other mothers. You will end up making yourself feel like sh*t and we do not want that. Your child is fed, bathed, clothed and has shelter? Well damn, you’re doing a great f**** job!! Congratulations on keeping the little humans alive and well.
You will be okay. Everything will be okay. Just take it a day at a time. You got this momma!
I absolutely positively HATE being a mother as well. HATE IT. I love my son to death but being a mom is NOT for me. In order to make this new life manageable for me though, I have my son in full-time daycare, Monday through Friday. It’s expensive but it’s priceless in terms of me having my sanity! You’re NOT alone!
I’m glad, I am not alone!!
Praying and giving myself some credit – two things I need to do more of! And yea, some days I can’t stand my kids!
I hope you start doing it more mom!
These are excellent tips and suggestions to help parent’s, especially mom’s.
Have you heard of Sally Clarkson? I read her book Desperate and it really helped me when I was having a hard time years ago.
I think the hardest part of becoming a new parent is learning to turn me into “we”, essentially dying to self yet still keeping enough self to stay sane. It can be a very painful process! With post partum depression it just makes it all the worse and makes that learning process cloudy, depressing, and like an uphill battle. It does get better once the PPD dissipates!
Something to consider maybe-are there challenges outside of being a new mother that are making life difficult as well? If so, can they be eliminated? In my case I needed to cut some very toxic people out that were trying to destroy my marriage and motherhood journey. Maybe this isn’t the case for you at all and there are no outside challenges stealing your joy, but I thought I’d throw it out there just in case.
I hope your path starts getting easier soon, mama!
I’m not a mom, and I’m glad you’re coming out of your depression. So many responsibilities come with being a mom! I can imagine it’s overwhelming. Great tips you’ve shared here!
I would say getting the proper amount of rest really helps me out.
When I do not get enough sleep, I’m definitely more irritable! You’re right.
Being a mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t hate being a mom, but I do see how moms could hate it. It’s so easy to get depressed and be hard on yourself. You have shared some great tips along with some raw honesty that will help so many moms.
Prayer gives me strength to be a better mom and have a better attitude. I like the idea of taking yourself out once a month will try that out 🙂
yes, you should! Let me know how you feel when you give it a try!
Being a mom is tough! The worst time for me was the baby and toddler stages. While the teen years aren’t a piece of cake, I like it a lot more than when the kids needed constant supervision and entertainment!
Parenting is definitely harder than I could ever imagine! “It’s okay to not be okay” rings so true! Great advice here.
-Jennifer
I’m not a mom yet but can appreciate other moms talking candidly about their experience makes me look forward to being one some day. Sending love your way.
Thank you so much Amary
I’m not a mom, and I found the 8 actionable tips for surviving motherhood helpful! Especially the self-care day. Wishing you the best on your journey!
Girl! I felt this in my bones. This is great advice for moms going through a difficult phase.
So much truth here. My baby girl is six months and I’ve fought to implement most of these tips. I’m currently working on trying to wake up earlier but we’re cosleeping. If I move, she’s up lol. But I appreciate the rawness of this post. Children are beautiful but the responsibilities of motherhood can wreck you. Thank you for the transparency and recommendations!
I use to have my son pass out on my boob and slowly pull myself away lol have you tried using a teddy bear or shirt? To let her think it’s you?
Chileeee I know this feeling all too well. I have been here and sometimes am still here. The tips you gave are life changing because they are pretty much what I did and still do to get through!
I’m glad that you could relate Lynyadia! Motherhood is no joke and sometimes i just want to quit.
You are so brave to admit such a taboo and controversial feeling. I always say I don’t want children and [eople always view that as such a terrible thing to say. I truly don’t want to have children to make others’ ideas of me easier and end up feeling miserable and resenting the child. Good luck to you in your journey, my dear.
Nothing wrong with non wanting children! I sure do NOT want more. LOL
Being a mom can be very hard! Thank you for bringing light to the fact that it isn’t always the way society paints it.
Thank you for taking the time to read Tiffany! It really isn’t all flowers
Great tips. I try to give my wife a break sometimes. We have 3 boys and the time away is much needed.
I try to give my wife a break sometimes. We have 3 boys and the time away is much needed.
I bet you she appreciates that! You’re really helping her and i applaud you!
I have had such time previously, and I think sleeping and waking up earlier, helped me a lot to do with the stress of motherhood.